took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
