My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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