Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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