He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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