somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
