How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I seem to have left my pride at pride
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
