I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He better not be in your backpack
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
