Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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