I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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