I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
