Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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