More tranny stories later!
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
