I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."