Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
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there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
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I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.