Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
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He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out