That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
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shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
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He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.