And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?