I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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