I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
