addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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