omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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