Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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