A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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