Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
