WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
True strength comes from lack of pants
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
