So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
