Betty ford says i'm here all night
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
