i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
