honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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