if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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