billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
