i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
