i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
