he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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