I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
