Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I want her autograph on my taint
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
