Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
