my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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