her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
