How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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