gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
