yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
