I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Randomize
