Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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