he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
