I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Randomize