Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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