Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
