Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There's always time for handjobs
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
