Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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