Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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