She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
