It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
