i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
