so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
