I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
