Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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