remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
