thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
