Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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