Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
