Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
